I love writing, it’s out of question.
I think writing is therapeutical indeed, it’s the best channel for all of my ideas.
But… I cannot get myself write everything I wanted to write because of these three concerns :
1.My lack of confidence
My anxiety always reminds me of all my insecurities. She always ask “Do you think someone wants to read your post? Do you think the public can receive your topic? Do you think you use good English for your writing? Do you think you can use Bahasa Indonesia properly? Isn’t it written weird?
2. The pressure of being a Journalism graduates
I studied Journalism at a top university along with other experienced journalists, ranging from casual experience to decades of working in the media. I feel like nothing among them. Can my writing represent the quality of my education properly? Have I learnt enough? Have I learnt and abled to practice them properly? What can my writing contribute to the world among the better projects that my peers made?
3. The readers
Been living both in the opposite ‘western’ and ‘eastern’ countries made me socially confused. All of these experiences have folded me into someone with hybrid values by adopting both worlds’ values. Things I wanted to write are not very common here in Indonesia such as body positivity, freedom of self, etc. I am not even sure myself if I can write good enough about these topics. I used to think long and hard even before deciding on a topic to write. I asked myself these questions : Can the readers receive it well? Will it be useful for them? Will it bring negative effect socially to me and my loved ones?
Too many questions, it’s overwhelming even before I begin writing my first word. Need to strike some healthy balance to start writing again 🙂